


falsettos crack,,

by woahitsnotcara



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Crack, Joke Fic, M/M, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:49:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17504576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woahitsnotcara/pseuds/woahitsnotcara
Summary: i got bored and wrote a crack fic.enjoy ;)





	1. a bell pepper

ounce upawn un time there was a man named whizzer.

 

whizzer had a good pet snek named noodle. 

one day whizzer took noodle to see his favorite person marv- sike it was jason lmfao.

 

so whizzer let jason hold noodle. 

noodle is a good noodle so noodle being the good noodle that noodle is, noodle didn't bite jasonn. 

 

next whizzar lets marvin hold noodle. noodle decided that noodle did NoT like marvin so noodle bit him. 

 

marvinn go to the hospital. oH NO!!!!1!!

 

at the hospital, marvin was sad. but nit for long----- bcuz his best friendo sShane dAwson was there!!!!

 

shane was only there bcause he summoned a demon and it accidentally ate all o f his interal organs,, whoops. 

 

suddenly said deamon bursted into the hospital room!!!! 

 

“WOWwww” said whizzer pausing.

“tha t was my impression of owen wilson.”

 

“that was great, but mines is better,” a mysterious voice spoke throught the room.

 

who was that??? you may ask. wellnone other than………

SHANE MADEJ

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


he was the demon too.

 

shane dawson stood up.

“ecuse me, ther e can only be one shane.”

 

“yeah. and it's gonnna be meh.”

 

the two shane's started dance fighting.

it was a blur of whips, nae naes, and orange justice-ing. it was terriflying

 

but not as terrifying as whizzer. bcausee

he had transformed into his true form…. a whizzard.

whizzer the whizzard straighhhy up summoned sum plums and ate them all with a big  g l u p.

 

SUDDENLY THE KOOLAID MAN BROKE THROUGH THE WINDOE.

“DID SOMEONE ORDER A MCRIB?????!” he shouted.

 

“sorry,” marvin appologized. “i have to get home, i have a horse to roast.”

 

“valid,” the koolaid man replied, letting him roam free.

  
  


back at marvin's house he turned onn teh stove.

“time to cook this horsey.” he said, tallking to himslef.

 

suddenly jason barged into the kitchen.

“you left me at the frick fracking hospital you jerk.”

 

“jaosn io have to cook this horse. its the only food we have left since whizzzer ate our plums.”

 

“i am not eating that whore-se.”

 

“hahahahahahah-”

whizzer zooomed in through the kitchen window.

 

“nice pun jason. you are the only 1 arounf here with a good cents of hummmour.”

 

marvin gaspedd. had whizzer really insulted him like this???

yes, yes he had.

 

he coukd not let this stand.

 

“well at least i don't suck at chess.”

 

“oh really? at least i don't look like-”

 

whizzer had not thought his comeback through but he had to sai somethingggg

“-a bell peper.”

 

“a bell pepper?”

 

“a bell peper.”

 

jason thiught for a moment.

“i mean he's not wrong,,”

 

out of rage, marvin yeeted jaason out of the house.

 

“byeeeeee jassooooo nnnnn” whizzer shouted before ascending into the abyss, leaving marvin by himself.

 

marvin sighed. “guess i'll have to roast this horse allllll by myslef.” he turned on the stove again.

 

poor marvin started crying and his tears messed up the stove’s elerical system and burned down the house.

 

MmARViN SEt A FIRe AaNDd hE BUrnED DoWN rHE HoUSE wOAHhHHHhhH

  
  


the end.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Revenge of the Sith (but not at all)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i let a few of my friends who knew nothing about falsettos write this next chapter. i only told them a few of the characters' names.  
> here's what they came up with...

After Marvin fookin' died, his ghost seeeeeeeked revenge.

 

Revenge of the Sith. 

 

Marvin needed to fight the Jedi Master or else.

He pulled out his Jedi Master sword:

THE SWORD OF MARIJUANA- don't do drugs, kids.

 

He HAD to do it for the Vine, fam-squad.

 

Suddenly, Jason straight up SISTER SNAPPED, it was the tea, sis.

Mavin then found a pineapple under the seat of the Death Star.

Meanwhile, Whizzer started screaming at the yacht (yeet, yote, he is a goat).

 

After Marvin found the pineapple, a masked figure ran across the battlefield.

Marvin noticed this and said in an Irish accent, "Who the tootle doodle bing bong is dat runnin' on me lawn!! That is good concrete being sullied by his Toes."

And that's when all of a sudden, Barney came flying down on a T-Rex riding a dolphin who was singing "What's New Pussycats".

 

Then inside of the Death Star, John Mulaney heard that one song and peeked out the window- to the wall (to the wall).

He was. She wasn't.

 

FIN

 

 

 


End file.
